Encouraging sibling love with a new baby
Bringing home your first child is life changing. You are now a parent! Like who trusted me to leave the hospital with this tiny human and what am I supposed to do now?! But, somehow you figure it out. The learning curve is steep and it is scary. And yet it is beautiful and magical. After a few weeks/months it becomes your new normal, you learn to survive on little to no sleep and start to differentiate the difference between your baby’s cries. You got this! And then you decide you want another child. Alright, you are an old pro now right? You’ve already done this once so it will be easy peasy lemon squeezy. Right? No. Bringing home a second baby changes the game completely. Not only do you have to switch from double team defense to one on one but you also have to worry about making sure your older child is adjusting to not being the only child in the house! Fostering sibling relationships and encouraging sibling love is so important in the beginning to create beautiful bonds between your children.
So, how do you do this when your oldest is pretending the newest addition literally doesn’t exist? Which is what my son did for the first month or two of my youngest son’s life. My oldest would literally just look around like “what baby” when we would try to get them to interact. So how did we turn that into the most adorable stinking loving brotherly bond I have ever seen? Well, keep reading and I’ll tell you what we did! Also, give us a follow on Instagram to get a daily dose of adorable @thesnoozymomma!
Involve your older child as much as possible
Whenever I needed to change my baby’s diaper I would ask my oldest son if he wanted to be my helper. I would have him hold a diaper and hand it to me while I changed the baby’s diaper. When I was putting the baby in the MamaRoo I would have my oldest push the button to turn it on. He had his special jobs where even though he was helping me do stuff for the new baby he felt included. You turn what would usually be just you and the baby time into family time. You can include your older children in so many things from holding diapers, to bringing the baby a blanket, to shaking a bottle. My older son was just about 2 when our second son was born so these tasks will have to be adjusted based on how old your older child(ren) is and their maturity.
Give them space to get to know each other
My oldest was pretty leery, at first, of trying to talk to the new baby but honestly, I think that is because he could sense how nervous I was every time he got close to the baby. Once I relaxed a bit and let him interact with his new baby brother without being a helicopter he became more and more comfortable with talking to the baby. Now, it is a goal of his to make the baby smile as many times as he can. Check out this Instagram post with a video of my oldest talking to my youngest it is the cutest thing ever (you have to swipe to see the video)
Mommy and Me Time
You are going to inevitably have tons and tons of alone time just you and your new baby. From the middle of the night feedings to babywearing, the baby will always get some quality one on one time with you, and your older child(ren) will pick up on this. So, it is really important that you give them some one on one time as well. I always try to give my son 30 minutes a day of mommy and me time whether that be reading books just him and me or going for a walk it makes a huge difference! During weeks where the baby was sick so I had to skip most of the one on one time with my oldest, he was a totally different child. Throwing more tantrums getting mad when the baby was in my lap, etc. So, when that happens I try to plan a whole day or at least several hours of time just my oldest son and I. We will have a mommy and me date to the library, or children’s museum or anywhere that your oldest will feel special. Now, obviously the more children you have the harder it is to schedule time like this but it is so worth it! Also, check out my article on how to make your kids feel special!)
Give it time
The best thing you can do for any relationship is give it time! Sometimes I forget my children aren’t just mini adults. They are kids so I can’t expect the same thing I would from an adult for adjusting to a knew situation. Giving a child time and space can do wonders for their mood. Just knowing you love them and are there for them is step one.
